2008 Newman Award

Over the course of 2007, the Anti-Football League board noticed a peculiar trend. Our annual best and fairest, the Douglas Wilkie medal, received many nominations for footballers past and present.

According to the AFL constitution, The ‘Wilkie’ is to be awarded to the person who “does the least for football in a given year, in the best and fairest manner”. Footballers, by their involvement in the game, should probably be immediately disqualified from nomination.

We therefore have decided to create a new award, presented to a footballer who displays the worst off field performance, in the preceding 12 months.

With the recent spate football ‘stars’ caught urinating on public buildings and denying the undeniable on talk shows, it shouldn’t be too hard to find an (un)worthy recipient of this inaugural prize.

The 2008 Winner wen to Brendan Fevola, notably having been seen in public -and the public press- in the following guise.

Part of this image has been altered.

Part of this image has been altered.

Other nominations were

  • Sam Newman
  • Alan Didak
  • Wayne Carey
  • Ben Cousins

11 thoughts on “2008 Newman Award

  1. Surely after the antics this week we really need to consider it being called “The Newman Award”? Just smacks of poor, childish, antisocial, and unsuitable behaviour to me.

  2. The media give football too much attention especially the off field ‘hero antics’, let us not add to it.
    If the AFL were serious about showing a positive public image, misdemeanors by players, on and off the field, would be punished by denying them playing for the balance of the season.

  3. Bad Behaviour? Isnt that the standard operating procedure for Footballers? What would be bad behaviour for them then; reading? Possibly make it the ‘Peter Bell Award’ (Fremantle FC) for completing a law degree? As for Newman, we cant confuse stupidity with bad behaviour, imagine the number of nominees!

  4. If Dick Pratt gets convicted of price fixing you can name the award after him. What I find amazing is how Carlton supporters are saying that they support Pratt at the moment and I’ll bet they’ll be saying it even if he gets convicted. Why? Because he’s helped their club of course, which I guess is far important than whether he stole 700 million dollars from our country or not.

  5. Hayden. You demonstrate just the sort of bone headed ignorance i would expect from a football fan. The seventeenth century was far more violent than the watered down game that is football today. They would have burnt many of your junky thug rapist heros at the stake.I doubt you know anything about history. That would require literacy. Chess, you claim, is a pussy’s game. Chess champions, however, are not to be seen publicly groping each others backside. Footballers, who seem to think themself the bastion of masculinity, are very keen on touching each others bottom. Go back to the trees, ape.

  6. Please give the inaugural award to Sam Newman – he’s been at it longer than the other nominees. He regularly does the least for footballs image.

  7. I’d also like to nominate Liam Pickering. I’ve had the misfortune of having to listen to him on SEN a few times and every second thing that comes out of his mouth is a smart ass comment designed to humiliate the person he’s talking to. He’s also a defensive little twerp who is quick to anger whenever anybody disagrees with his POV. He’s the epitome of someone with a big ego and low self-esteem.

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