2012 Anti-Football Day

Fellow sufferers

Our annual protest lunch is on as usual for 2012 at the North Fitzroy Star Hotel on Saturday the 29th of September. See Google Map. The event starts around 12:30pm and finishes around 4pm when some of us are forced to leave to beat the post-game crush on public transport.

As you know, there are no TVs in the hotel so we can enjoy our lunch, drinks and conversation in blissful ignorance of the circus taking place in nearby Jolimont.

The other AFL’s annual report shows a $382,175,000 profit in 2011 and I reckon that’s after a fair bit of it is pumped into advertising. The real AFL only made about $30 profit last year and Veronica gave it to a charity. Our only source of income is people using the F(ooty)-word and putting coins in the penalty jar as punishment. We therefore rely on you for advertising our lunch and spreading the word to all sympathetic souls you know. Perhaps some of you young switched-on people can use that internet thingy to help us “go viral”.



The Anti-Football League made a brief appearance on ABC TV’s ‘Can We Help’ program on Friday (14th September 2007). The clip showed some very old footage of Keith Dunstan and members, some of which included the a football burial at sea in the 1980s.

The screening resulted in a heavy attack of comments on the AFL website guestbook, and a healthy number of new members eager to join. For those who missed it, the transcript can be found at the ABC website here…


A Grand Anti-Final Day Lunch

Fellow sufferers,

As you are no doubt painfully aware, the football season is in full swing. Talk of bad behaviour by players (and now broadcasters) is reaching record levels with no end in sight. Without doubt, this trend will continue until that dreaded ‘one day in September’, when supporters from both AFLs can collectively give a sigh of relief.

But what until then? Here at Anti-HQ we’ve been scratching our heads for ways to protect our members during this difficult time. The ongoing war on terror has pushed the cost of footy-proof bomb shelters out of the reach of our budget. We’ve even asked quarantine experts how to contain this ‘football disease’ that affects us all during September. Regrettably, they’re all tied up with some sick GGs at the moment, and couldn’t spare their time.

Dear members, there is a solution, and it means we can all be far from the MCG when the siren goes at the football grand final. Stones of the Yarra Valley will be hosting a ‘Anti-Grand Final Day’, complete with a specifically devised three course lunch. With a wine list that makes telephone books jealous, this event will be a far cry from the warm meat pies and the flat beer they’ll be serving in the Ponsford stand. The event will incorporate speeches, a raffle, and will strictly be, a football free event.

Briefly, the details:

Where: Stones of the Yarra Valley, 14 St. Hubert’s Road, Coldstream, Victoria. A map can be found here
When: 29th September 2007, 12 noon onwards.
Food: A three course lunch, includes tea and coffee.
Cost: $60 per person, excluding wine.
Bookings: Stones of the Yarra Valley – (03) 9739 0900
Further information: Through the Stones website: http://www.stonesoftheyarravalley.com/

Non-members and sympathisers are also very welcome, I hope to see you all there….

In other news,

We are counting up the votes for recipients of our Douglas Wilkie Award, and it looks like it’s going to be a pretty close race. We are still accepting nominations, so if you think someone has done nothing for football this year, in the best and fairest manner, let us know. You can do so by email, or through the nomination page on our website.

A warm welcome to new members and returning members to the Anti-Football League. Apologies to anyone who’s had delays receiving their lapel badges.

You can now find the Anti-Football League on online social networking sites such as Myspace and Facebook. (Not content with our own web page, we’ve infiltrated others as well).

Yours in sincere footballing dis-interest,

Jack Dunstan,

Become a member!

After fifteen years, the Anti-Football League has undertaken a pressing of lapel badges. Now you can officially join the league, and proudly display your membership.

Lapel badge

Badges can be purchased for AUD$6.50 (plus postage). Profits from the sale of AFL merchandise will go to Villa Maria, a Melbourne based organisation that provides services for the elderly and people with disabilities.

To purchase a badge, click here.
To learn more about the history of AFL lapel badges, click here.

Done up’ MCG is football’s undoing

AFL members will be no doubt blissfully ignorant to the recent developments at the MCG over Melbourne’s colder months. However, whilst attending a non-match at midnight, on Tuesday, we noticed a wonderful artwork adorning the newly refurbished Olympic Stand. Entitled ‘Kicking the Leather’, the sculpture incorporates the use of footballs, old and new, to create a collage that meanders up one of the structural supports.

Artist Penelope Lee has taken a leaf out of the Anti-Football League’s book and deflated, unstitched, and shredded several hundred footballs to create her masterpiece. Over the years, during Wilkie Award presentations, we too have put the pigskin through similar ordeals, but never have we created something as elaborate as this.

Here at the AFL we suspect the commission of ‘Kicking the Leather’ is part of a desperate push to breathe some life into the MCG stadium during its unfortunate winter periods. And so, football non-enthusiasts are encouraged to look out for this piece and marvel at this salute to our cause, next time they’re attending a non-match at the ‘G’.

Has the Soccer World Cup been good for the AFL?

Fellow anti-footballers,

In recent weeks we have been subjected to a different type of Football hubbabaloo. The soccer World Cup has been and gone and thankfully there will be no more talk of it for another four years. But has it been good for the Anti-Football cause? We can only conclude that it has a few more merits than the normal pigskin calisthenics we, the downtrodden and overburdened, are usually subject to.

Still, as ever, we have been required in our workplaces and public spaces to lend a polite ear to the tired remarks: ‘Did you catch the game? Geez, I tell ya, we was robbed’.
But as an upside, the soccer games have been played at a more civilised times of day –three in the morning, for example. If only the Aussie rules crowd would take a page out of the World Cup book, and play all their games in the dead of night. Just think, no more congested train carriages at Richmond station by gambrinous hordes. No more Punt road deadlock on Saturday afternoons and the television coverage would have the post-mortem-game-wrap-up all over by breakfast time. An ideal situation, you would have to agree.

But as members of the Anti-Football League, we should ask whether we should celebrate this recent distraction, or condemn the soccer World Cup completely? If they insist on calling the ball played with the round ball ‘football’ and not ‘soccer’ then should we consider fighting on another front? Presently, we are undecided.

Members, as ever, are invited to continue the debate by leaving a comment below.